He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
