You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
