Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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