If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
