I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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