dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
