wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
