I'm gonna have a badass scar
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
