I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
