There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
