I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
