? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
