ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
