I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
