This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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