Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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