so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
