you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
