im about as happy as oj after his trial
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
there is puke in my bra ... again
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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