I think im going to throw up on grandma
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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