I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
