You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
