Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
