i already hear my dad disowning me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
