Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
