i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize