Duck Duck Cougar?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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