Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I will pee on everything he values.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize