I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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