Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
