Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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