i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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