Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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