Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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