I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
