I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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