I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
