Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
