Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
