no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
