I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
