things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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