i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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