I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize