i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
