The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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