Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
