Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
