So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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