I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
