Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
