Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
