ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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