I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
