She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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